i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize