I just made out with a guy for $7.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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