glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
