I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
