She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
50% drunk capacity currently
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
