Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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