As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
