Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
