I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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