I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
