i don't like sucking hair
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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