we're blogging at a bar
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
