I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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