im about as happy as oj after his trial
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
