Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
