Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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