My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
MIDGETS
????
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
