Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
