So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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