DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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