Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
