dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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