She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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