she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
im on a boat
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