Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
