Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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