Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
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