Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
