Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
