You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Randomize
