It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
sex in a hospital.. check
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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