have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
