ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I got chris browned last night
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
