Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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