Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
