i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
