The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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