so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
