Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
