She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
