small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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