so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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