I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
