The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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