i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
