i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
