Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Randomize
