I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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