What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
