you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
