Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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