That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
