Porn is love you can see.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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