it was like his penis was on wheels.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
well you can't waste a boner
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
