You smell like a Billy Joel song
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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