She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
This is my gift to your gina
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
