But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
