She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
