so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
