I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
