When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
