don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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