what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize