As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
