She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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